~ Two Fathoms ~

" . . . I was never ugly in my life! Forty years ago I was not so good-looking. A looking glass then lasted me three months. Now I can wear it out in two days." - Mark Twain

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 1835-1910. More than just an author of wonderful books, Mark Twain is quite a man of personal conviction. His pen name came from his days of being a steamboat 'pilot' on the Mississippi for over two years. 'Mark Twain' was the cry for a measured river depth of two fathoms and is reflective of his depth of character and personality. Click on a number of the provided links and see what an 'anti-imperialist' he was as he was a serious man of thought. Yet Twain's humor never failed him, having an honesty about it expressed by his tough-in-cheek wit, which could hit home faster and stronger than any set of directly stated feelings. Once upon a request to record a Christmas message on an early gramophone he did so with this, “It is my heart-warm and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, and admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage—every man and woman of us all throughout the whole earth—may eventually be gathered in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss, except the inventor of the telephone."

Even Twain's literary works expressed his ideals and opinions on matters. It is of interest that of all his works, it was Huckleberry Finn that was banned from a library. The reasoning seemed to stem around the fact that it was improper for a white child to have such a relationship with a black slave as Huck had with Jim. Social reform and what was proper was on Twain's mind, and he expressed it. While not always in agreement with all of his views, one has to admire the man for the manner and with what wit he expressed them.

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up all our hardness yield, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place." - Mark Twain. You don't have to agree with a person to hear and understand their views. You don't have to believe the same way another man does to laugh with them and feel what they feel. Humor is the great communicator. It can express your feelings to another who might be otherwise antagonized by your views. Tolerance for each other exists in the humor and in the comedy of life. One of the greatest losses to man is to lose that sense of humor."

Get to know Mr. Twain from his writings and life. Browse through the various connects that are below on the net. Let me know if you find him as impressive an image of a great humorist and person as I do. Enjoy!


Riding the Overland Stage, 1861

Mark Twain on the Philippine's Moro

Twain on the Philippines

The Awful German Language

The Reports of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

The Ghost of Mark Twain

The Belle of New York Lives!

Jim Blaine and His Grandfather's Old Ram

The Diaries of Adam and Eve - PDF


Improvement of English Spelling

Concerning Tobacco / ETC.

A Ghost Story


* * * Quotable Twain * * *

Mark Twain Quotations, . . .

Some Maxims

"I believe that some day it will be found that Koreans are people.
Yes, beings in a great many respects like ourselves."
- Mark Twain

Quotes 2

The Jews

"The Jew is a money getter, and in getting his money he is a very serious obstruction to less capable neighbors who are on the same quest"
- Mark Twain

Mark Twain in India

"My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water."
- Mark Twain

* * * His Writtings * * *

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Huck Finn - Illustrated

Joan of Arc - Volume 1

Joan of Arc - Volume 2

The Prince and the Pauper

Life on the Mississippi - PDF File


Mark Twain at Hitory Dot Com

Mark Twain Best Humorist

Mark Twain at PBS

Mark Twain in Hawaii

Mark Twain Project Online

Mark Twain Was Equally Critical of All Organized Christian Religions

Being a true blue red blooded 'Mormon', I cannot leave Mark Twain without a reflection on his self guided exposure to the Book of Mormon. Many an anti-mormon likes to quote from it, throwing hypocritical stones in their own houses of glass, as though Mark Twain was God's own voice concerning it, Himself. Mark Twain, according to the Catholic News, "did not believe in the existence of heaven and hell, the immortality of the soul nor the divinity of Jesus Christ. He was highly skeptical of the Bible's contents, and although he professed belief in God, he frequently questioned God's Motives." I'd not be so hard on Mark Twain or should I say Samuel L. Clemens. It was difficult for an honest objective man to consider any such 'Traditionally Based Christian Church' as being a Church of God. I'd rather think that Mark Twain was not accepting of any such organized religion which he considered out to profit from the use of the name of God. To this end I do find his 'self exposure' to the LDS faith interesting, but hardly would I consider it a testimony from God to be used by other such 'Christian Groups' who Mr. Twain would fault and distastefully spew out as well. His is not to be taken and quoted as to being God's own word upon the matter, though some may use selectively Twain's words to tear others down, all the time while they totally ignore any such same lines of Twain's opinioned speech against themselves as being of naught. In short, dispite Mark Twain's states of record against the Christian behaviors of churched men, I do consider that deep within himself, Mark Twain not only believed in God, but was a Christian as well. He just did not approve of how men practiced their religions.

When one considers Mark Twain's reviews of the Bible in his writings, one finds as many faults there as ever with the Book of Mormon. Twain is not very kind to organized religion. And as for the truth of God, he does not consider he needs to be.

Huck Finn ~ Mark Twain ~ and ~ The Bible

"The clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no impact on society." - Mark Twain

While this is an interesting observation by Twain during his time, it would be of more interest to me to hear what witticism he would come up with to disclose his personal feelings on the free speech issue now facing the Web. It wouldn't matter whether he were for it or against it, it would be a joy to hear him express it.

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Speak to Me at this Mail Address if You Like. revised: 28 April 2014